Let's not be rash.

I was going to tell you about how Tommy just came in and dropped a tiny, homegrown (no, not mine, Gini's) tomato down my robe, and I was too tired to stand up and retrieve it, so it is still somewhere here in the folds of my person, but then the baby started crying. So instead, I have to go feed him and grease his head with Eucerin creme, because he is all rashy (baby eczema), which makes me sad. The internets assure me it will go away before he's five. FIVE! That will be a lot of Eucerin. I don't want him to have a rashy head for 5 years.

Have you had any baby rashes? How long did it last? Any tips to share?

(mmm. Tasty tomato.)

Attention: I am wearing pants.

Pants with a zipper.

And a button at the top.

And no spandex panel.

How obscenely tight are they, you ask?

Not very!

Today is a red letter day.

I celebrated by taking Joey to the pediatrician for one month check-up, then to Chang's, where I ate fried green beans.

They were delicious.

That's all.

Stating the obvious.

Tom, just now:

Mom, you didn't get your hair ready.

When you don't get your hair ready, you don't look beautiful.

Just the pep talk I needed this morning.

I am sooo tired. Is it okay to nap at 9:30 am?

p.s. My Mac takes pictures of me. And yes, that is a york peppermint patty. And yes, that is my laundry. In my defense, the basket on the dryer, and the towels on the floor are clean, just not folded.

Cutting the cord. (Not another baby post.)

(No, really, it is just this one photo. Now I'll stop.)

When we moved, back in October, we left something behind: Cable TV.

It isn't like we went off the grid. The Cox guy still came out and hooked up the high speed internet. And we even got TWO phone lines (one for alarm system.)

So, why, then?

Mostly, it was because of Miley Cyrus. Hannah Montana is full of super snotty attitude, and my daughter started acting like her. (She was also being carefully coached by Zack, Cody, and iCarly. And although it didn't seem to be affecting the boys as much, they all sat around watching inane pre-teen sitcoms for hours at a time, without blinking. I tried to block the channel, but they figured out the password. I tried to set the TIVO so the kids could only watch recorded shows. They figured out how to record iCarly. They are very smart and resourceful children.

So we got rid of cable. Now, they don't watch TV all day. They actually go outside to play, jump on the trampoline, and ride their bikes. But I'll be honest. They fight a lot more, too. Jane is horrible to Sam, and vice versa. It is like living with a super mean Hannah Montana.

I read this article this morning. According to the comments I read, everyone is super thrilled with turning off the cable.

My own feelings are mixed.

What I like:

Kids not becoming drooling coach potatoes.

Not paying tons of money to bring lots of nastiness into home. (Although, plenty of nasty in prime time regular TV.)

Extra PBS channels. I watch them all the time.

New kid station called Qubo. Which kids don't love, so only watch occasionally.

Lots of channels are HD, and look great on our big fancy set Jake got for his birthday.

What I don't like:

CANNOT GET GOOD ENOUGH RECEPTION WITH ANTENNA. I get very irate when I sit down at night to watch my TIVO, only to find the reception wasn't good enough, and my favorite show is just a black screen. Yes, I know there's Hulu, but I want to lie in bed and nurse my baby, not sit in the office chair in front of the computer. (Yes, I can see the irony that I write this while sitting in front of the computer.)

I miss the Food Network, HGTV, TLC, Discovery. I miss the Barefoot Contessa. I miss House Hunters International. Okay, fine, sometimes I even miss Survivorman and Mythbusters. Jakes misses Burn Notice. But he watches it at work, where he has satellite. He even gets BBC America there. Which makes me green with envy.

The channels don't change correctly. Getting where you need to go is like wading blindfolded through the La Brea Tar Pits.

Couldn't get Conference on WB this year, and didn't have KBYU. Jake rigged up computer to TV. He is very handy.

So anyhow, my feelings are mixed. And I'll tell you, I am scared to death of having five kids home all summer (110 degrees outside, you'll remember) with a newborn, and no TV to entertain the elder children. If it weren't for the pool, I think I'd have already called the cable guy.

I'm a weak woman.

Have any of you unplugged? Love it? Hate it? Are you considering the switch? Or love your cable and think I'm crazy?

My nouns are gone.

So, something is up with my brain. Like, it quit working good.

I can't think real clear-like, and I can't come up with words. Not just words to hook together here on the blog, but nouns. In conversation. Especially proper nouns.

Last night I was trying to explain that Hotel Circle in San Diego wasn't too far from Sea World, only I'd lost the words SEA WORLD, so I panicked for a minute, then said: "you know, that...Shamu place."

So you see. Shamu place. Is what it's come to over here.

There have been, like, tons of other examples of my problem, which I would freely share, but I can't actually remember any of them.

Sure, I could be sleep deprived, but we can all be honest here, right? We've seen this blog going downhill since the insomnia started in October. Or really, maybe since I started barfing last July 20? (Is like my own personal December 7, 1941, a day that lives in infamy.) (I'm really surprised I came up with the word infamy.) And the baby is pretty good about eating and going right back to sleep during the night. I think I'm getting more sleep than last month, when I was up every 45 minutes to pee and do laps around the bedroom to loosen my stiffening back.

Anyhow, I'm thinking this new level of dumb must be hormone related. As in, all the estrogen has left the building, and now I'm in shock, which has developed into some sort of walking coma?

Honestly, I got no other ideas. I'm just hoping it's...what's that word? The one that means not gonna last forever.

Has anybody else ever misplaced their words? Or had other weird post-pregnancy symptoms? Anyone? Anyone?

Post-partum elation?

First of all, this weather: so good, it is almost obscene. I just went outside to locate my three and seven year old sons, who had decided to ride around the neighborhood sans helmets or shoes, but with dirt smeared faces and brown feet, and I stepped out into the orange blossom filled 75 degree evening. It was a heady moment of pure joy. Does anything smell better than orange blossoms? Perhaps only warm sugar cookies with brown butter frosting. But perhaps not. Is maybe a tie.

I keep having these moments. I got teary-eyed while listening to Coldplay on the way to pick Jane up at a birthday party; my heart swelled whilst doing dishes and thinking about how lucky I am to be able to see the Superstition Mountains out my kitchen window; I couldn't stop grinning as I planted my feet on the coffee table during conference today and stared at my skinny-again feet and ankles, thinking wow, those are some gorgeous feet, Kelly (not really so gorgeous, at size 10AA, with at least 2 inches of toe); sitting up at 4:30 in the morning after a feeding, watching my baby sleep and not wanting to put him down.

I know I mentioned it before, but I think I have the opposite of post-partum depression. It is like, after the baby is born, I get giddy and happy again. I feel like I'm back.

I also feel like a supermodel. The swelling is mostly gone. My tummy is mostly flat (is a gift from the genetic gods, not result of any sort of exercise or diet program, hahaha, like anyone would accuse me of exercise), my hair still shiny and thick. I don't even care about the 30 more pounds I'm carrying around on my backside. I don't have to look at it!

Sorry if you sit behind me in Church, though.

And this whole thing where people send me flowers,

and bring me dinners every night with plates and plates of cookies,

or boxes of See's chocolates,

and tiny outfits,

and fresh eggs from their very own chickens,

or loaves of warm, homemade bread,

and take my kids to the movies and me out to lunch,

and my Mom comes over and does my laundry,

and does my dishes,

and I can take naps at 8 am or 10 am or 1 pm

(although I've only worked that one like twice),

and people don't even blink when I answer the door wearing Jake's sweats at dinnertime,

and all I have to do is hold my baby,

which is what I want to do anyhow?

This is a good thing I've got going over here.

It just seems funny to me cause I feel so much better now than I did in the first months of pregnancy, when I was barfing so hard my eyes were bleeding.

Those were some rough times.

I feel like a phoenix rising, and yet everyone is coddling me. It is so lovely. Thanks, everyone. I'll send you proper notes in the mail very soon.

As if all this isn't enough, my baby slept for seven hours last night. IN A ROW. And he is 1.5 weeks old. Now, the pregnant Kelly would say, that was a fluke, he's just getting my hopes up, but the regular Kelly says, wonderful! That's one night of sleep I didn't expect to get!

Now I'm going to go eat some Cadbury eggs for dinner, hold my baby, and stare at my beautiful ankles some more. Maybe I'll paint my toenails, since I can reach them again!

Happy Easter, all!

I'm making lime jello fluff, which is my favorite. How are you celebrating?