Remember how last week I told you I was super duper busy and stressed out?
Well, I forgot to tell you that I sometimes watch the Cooking Network to help me relax.
You know what really calms me down? Like, it puts me into an almost-comatose trance?
Watching butter and sugar cream in a Kitchenaid mixer.
(I know, is weird and a little bit embarrassing, but there it is.)
So, one day I was watching the Barefoot Contessa make a lemon curd tart, and I was like,
yeah, I'm going to need one of those.
You see, I'd been wondering what to do with that entire tree full of ripe, juicy lemons I have in my yard, and now it all became clear: whip them with butter!
So I went to Fresh and Easy in my yoga pants (not just for yoga anymore) and bought three pounds of unsalted butter (only needed one plus a little more, but figured better safe than sorry), then left them out on the kitchen island, per Ina's strict instructions. She said it needed to be ROOM TEMPERATURE, and not just DEFROSTED. I mean, who am I, to question a Countess?
But my kids kept finding the warm butter, and sticking it back in the fridge.
I'll bet La Contessa sin(o?) zapatos doesn't have this problem. I'll bet her grinny, giggly husband with the curly gray hair, and all her friends at the flower shop and the organic butcher, and her herb gardener who gets paid only in Mac and Cheese, and even the friends of friends for which she is always cooking pasta salad or paninis for lunches on the beach or on the sailboat, understand the value of soft butter.
It was very frustrating; but in the meantime, I was able to procure a nice tart dish at Ikea.
Finally I was ready. So I googled the recipe. But what did I find? That in the world of Lemon Curd, Ina might be the comtesse, but le roi is a man named Pierre Herme. And if you want lemon curd that will make your eyes roll around in your head like loose marbles just before you lose control of your bladder and pass out on the floor in bliss, you want to make his. Since his recipe calls for adding the butter AFTER you cook the lemon/sugar/egg stuff, and blend it to create a sort of butter emulsion, the texture is remarkable.
The blogs were very positive about Ina's shortbread crust, though. Twice as much butter as regular pastry crust. Can't go wrong there.
So I set out on my own: I decided to tuck the Herme curd into the Countess' crust. Is a royal marriage like Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon's, or Charles and Di's. (Okay, this tart works way better than most royal unions.)
The results? Remarkable. I served the tart for breakfast at our book club overnight, with fresh berries and whipped cream. Is a very good way to start the day, but is unfortunately low in fiber.
(Is generic lemon curd tart image, not actual product. Who stops to take photos of delicious food when she could be eating it?)
You know what is even more remarkable? You wouldn't even know all that butter was in there, except that I already told you. You just think, 'MMMM', not 'BUTTERY'.
So you want one for yourself, don't you?
Yes, I suspected you might.
So here is the Herme/Countess/Beeswax Lemon Curd Tart Recipe hybrid, for your eating pleasure: