Monday, February 02, 2009

It's Man Appreciation Week!

(The working title was "I Know What Boys Like," but then I googled the lyrics, and that song is a bit more suggestive than I actually remembered. So I nixed that idea. Sorry, boys.)

So, what about the boys, er, men? 

Well, in general, I assume they aren't reading my blog. In my mind, I write to all you lovely ladies out there. I whine about my thighs or my new haircut. You leave me comments telling me my legs are just fine and that The Rachel is totally back.  Is wonderful, symbiotic relationship, in manner of Amazon Fruit Bats and fig trees, or Sea Anemones and Clownfish. 

I figured I drove away any male readership long ago. All except my Dad, maybe. Hi Dad! 

Even my husband quit reading, or at least went deep underground. I tested him with occasional sneaky references to things I only wrote on the blog. I only received blank, uncomprehending stares. 

Honestly, it was sort of liberating.

But then last week, a few things happened to make me think that maybe there ARE some boys out there, and that I have been neglecting them horribly.

Let me tell you what happened:

1. First, my husband tells me that his mission companion, a SLC lawyer we shall call BART (we'll call him that, cause that's what I call him, even though his real name is Ryan Braithewaite), has been reading this blog. When BART read about how Jake brought me Chili's Molten Chocolate Cake with chocolate and caramel last week, he rung Jake up, long distance, just to call him a wuss. (Or similar. Not sure of actual names called.)

I apologized to Jake, and told him I had no idea that any men would be reading said post. I told him that I figured all the female readership would only think more highly of him, and might even perhaps be a little jealous of me for having such a dreamy, cake-fetching spouse.

Jake told BART that the Chili's cake was already in the works before I even mentioned Ina's TV cake, but honestly, that only shows he is so in tune with my needs, that he can fulfill them before my own conscious mind is even aware of them. Doesn't do much to re-establish macho credibility, IMO.

2. Remember when I went to El Charro last June? How could you forget, right? Well, in that post I mentioned a boy who took me there in 1992. I named him (by his actual, real-life name) in the post, and he actually did google himself, and sent me an email to tell me that he still loves El Charro; that he is married with five kids and lives in Gilbert; and that although El Charro does, in fact, rock the taco, if I really wanted a mind-blowing burro, I should try Espo's in Chandler (not a direct quote).

3. Lastly, at the Beeson Bonfire Saturday night (click there and here for pictures. I'm in the hot pink hoodie), Jake's brother Brigham commented on my hot dog's religion, which lead me to believe he'd read this old post.

So you see, four boys (er, men. Very manly men) right there. (I'm including Dad).

So I thought that this week, I would blog about things that boys like! A sort of MAN APPRECIATION CELEBRATION! Because we (speaking for women in general now, not for self only) also have important symbiotic relationship with you men, in manner of birds and bees (birds and bees with flowers, not with each other. Latter is against laws of nature).

Tomorrow I will brainstorm some BOY BLOG ideas, but in the meantime...

There was a Big Football Game yesterday, right? Big home team was in it? But they lost? Are you very sad, boys? Please share feelings.  Is safe, nurturing-type environment here at None of Your Beeswax. 

Is okay to cry.

Girls are invited, too. Of course. You can discuss football. 
Or, you can talk about boys. 


Barbaloot said...

Not gonna lie---I enjoy getting the occasionaly comment from the male gender on my blog.

And I love that your husband's friend called him just to make fun. I bet if his wife reads your blog, she's ticked cuz she wishes he'd be a cake-fetcher as well.

colette said...

I love your blog Kelly- and I love reading, so I am following your reading blog too! And I agree, 850 pages of brilliance can make up for 50 dull pages....when I think of all the 200ish books I've read that didn't have any pages of brilliance, it was still a winner!

wendy said...

I guess we never give much thought to the "guys" who might be reading. I got a comment once from someone (whose blog I commented on and said "you go girl") and he told me he was a GUY (oooo, I felt dumb) but he just laughed and was really good natured about it.

heather said...

You have got to be one of my favorite writers. I hope you write a book someday. I really do.

AND since you brought up football I have to tell you that I watched 3/4 of that game -and I felt so sad afterwards. I think it was the first football game I've ever watched.

AND my Hubby checks up on my blog writing every few days. He also checks up on the blogs of his friend's wives. I don't know any men who actually personally blog although I know there are some out there. So I think it's great to give them a shout out.

Oh. And Hi to your dad.

Now I'm off to google myself to see if I'm in anyones posts. I've never thought to do this, but maybe I'll meet up with some old friend who can tell me where to go to get a good burrito.

You never can tell.

wonder woman said...

My husband reads my blog. Sometimes I like it. Other times I don't.

good luck with the man appreciation thing. I'm quite interested to see what you'll be appreciating!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Commented on the religion of your hot dog...hehehehehe

I don't know if that was supposed to be a bit of naughty joke, but I took it that way because I'm sort of a guy like that. So maybe I will enjoy the man appreciation week since sometimes I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy.

Hailey said...

Once I posted some revealing (cheesy) facts about Ben and his old college roommate still won't let it go. So, I have to bring the cheese factor all the way down and only say things about Ben that maybe his law school buddies would say about him. I'm fine with that, actually.

Bee said...

Too funny!

I KNOW that my husband reads my blog, but he wonders aloud why anyone else bothers. As he said to me yesterday: "You don't really talk about much; I mean it's not like you are offering stock tips or anything." (direct quote)

I'm glad that you dispatched the big game so quickly. What else do you have in terms of boy stuff? I will be reading to find out.

Claire said...

I only had one guy comment on my blog. And it creeped me out. I think he was dirty. And not in a good way.
I didn't know non-dirty boy blog readers existed...

Beeswax said...

Okay, so no men commenters yet...

Thanks to all you ladies, though. Ya'all are so nice.

Brigham said...

Oh, I get it. The Hebrew Nationals are circumcised! Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

boys are so awesome and cool a cute... you said talk about boys! hahaha well. i think this is a good idea. you NEVER know who is reading your blog..

Ryan said...

BART here.... Before we became addicted to Prison Break, my wife and I played a game where we randomly selected the blog of a person we didn't know and clicked on the links to other blogs until we found someone we know. Is a fun game. So I admit that I read blogs of the female version sometimes as I click along.

Sadly, it took me 8 clicks to find Kevin Bacon's blog.

P.S. "Wussy"--I called Jake a "wussy". Maybe he could use some Prison Break in his life.

Melissa Bastow said...

I have never gotten a male comment before.....I'm a loser. A boyless commentatiosly deniable loser. I just made up that word - it's a good one. Maybe it's really real. What do you think? And also, I'm glad that I have never used old boys' last names on my blog for them to google (and then read about), because that would be embarrassing...for me. Was it embarrassing for you? But I kind of write embarrassing things - when read by old boys and such.

Fiona said...

Where are all the boys? My Dad, brother, and husband read my blog. One poster mentioned that she sort of wished her husband didn't. I get that!

bionictrout said...

"I assume they aren't reading my blog"

I read your blog... Well, maybe "skim" is a better word.

Brett and Shireen said...

My husband occasionally reads your blog with me - usually if he hears me laughing out loud (which is common when I read your blog) he will come into my office to find out what is so funny. I think he might come in expecting me to have fallen out of my chair or something. Then, he sits, and he reads along with me and my laughter.

I think I have 3 male readers - including my father, who is a regular reader. My blog is not clever, funny, nor does it include stock quotes or really anything of note, other than pictures of my family and the occasional story.

I can't wait until you write a book, beeswax.

And I am jealous of your cake fetcher. I have mentioned to Brett a number of times that I would LOVE one of those mini cakes from Archer Farms in Scottsdale (remember when we went there?) since he drives down the 101 at least once a week but alas, no cake. Not even on my birthday. We should go there again!

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