Friday, November 05, 2010

A minivan by any other name would still smell like old fries.

That's me (and my van)
And sweaty kid, cold greasy tots (from Wacky Wednesdays at Sonic), already-licked grape Tootsie pops, that ham sandwich inside the brown paper lunch sack that is lost under the starboard captain's chair, feet, and a little Johnson's Baby Shampoo, if you're lucky.

Oh. And Febreze. (Lipstick on a pig.)

Unless you are elderly (why do the snowbirds love the minivans?), or obsessive compulsive.

I love my van. I used to promise my college roommates I'd never drive one, but now I'm out and proud. I love every inch of it, even the cracked tail light, from when the lady got hit in the Costco parking lot in Las Vegas before she sold it to us on Ebay.

I have really grown to appreciate my tiny little van, because lately I've been cruising in this:



Yes, that's our school bus. A 12 passenger Ford. We share it with my sister for carpool.  It is BIG, and our kids love it. We are planning a road trip to Nebraska in it next summer. So in case you were wondering exactly how how cool the Beeswaxes really were, now you know:

not very.

And now my 1991 Acura Integra is in the car spa (Wes' Auto and Diesel), where Fred (car) got all new suspension and a new distributor, which will cost approximately two-and-a-half times what he is actually worth (which ain't much). It is his 20th birthday gift. I got him new in November 1990, back when I still wasn't cool, but looked it, cuz I had a fantastic car. It even lured my husband to me, and for this reason, we keep it, as a very large, garage-space-hogging symbol of our deep, undying love.

That smells inside like an old boat.
And the ghosts of 2,000 drive-thru In-n-Out burgers. Animal style.

*****

Overheard at book club last night: "If you start talking about the book, then we're leaving." And then they did.

 I'd like to spend the wee hours of every Friday morning out in front of the Paradise Bakery chatting about Queen Esther. And, you know, other stuff.

I don't know why I haven't blogged in a month. I miss it. See you soon.

Love, Kelly

8 comments:

Amber said...

I never thought I would love a minivan, but I am totally loyal to mine. The inside is all sharpie drawings and worn out carpeting.

Every Sunday on our drive to Church my husband swears he will never ride in it again because of the smell. Even when it's uber clean. I laugh at the girl's who have 1.5 kids and tool around in their big old suburbans. They are missing out on some serious minivan cool.

Jennifer Babbitt said...

Can't commit to the mini. Don't mind the large bus though. My smells like foot and fart.
I too have an obsession with Queen Esther. So much so that I named my fourth daughter after her. I must have trouble committing though, only her middle name made the tribute.
Your book club sounds dope.

Beeswax said...

Sharpies. That's rough. I've got black interior, which only shows lint, and nothing else.

And Jen, I've got a picture of you in the back seat of the Acura, on our way to San Diego, circa 1992 or 3. I also have photos of us in our bathing suits at Mission Beach, and we probly didn't think so at the time but we looked GOOD.

Kari said...

Love the Acura--glad you're taking care of her.
Must explain book club, though--don't understand completely. Is it because I don't read?

Beeswax said...

Fred is a him, kari.

And the ladies that left early hadn't finished the book, and didn't want the ending spoiled. Although it did seem fishy cuz it's not like the Esther story has a surprise ending.

Jenni said...

Love your sweet ride...you rock. =)

Brett and Shireen said...

Love the Acura, I had a few In N Out burgers in that car too. And other snacks. Glad you are enjoying Ron Burgundy as well - I'd like a photo of Jen driving it, fully of kids, at your earliest convenience (please).

Sorry I missed book club. I didn't read the book and wasn't allowed that many outings in one week.


My car doesn't smell that bad, is that because I only have one child and she's still little? It does smell like dog sometimes, but only when I let the dogs ride in the car. And the day or so after. Then it clears out and smells like me, which, let's be honest, isn't always so great (depending on the day).

Hailey said...

I hope you watched the episode of Modern Family with the station wagon with all the memories.

I don't have a car right now. Am I cool or what? Saving the earth, that's me!

(Please help me...)