Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Women's Conference, a sort of poem mostly concerning my intestinal maladies, plus some pictures of food and cousins and large fowl.

As it turns out,
when you eat like a 6 course meal over three hours,
including most of your college roommate Kari's vegetable Napoleon plus your own lobster bisque,  and three desserts,
then follow that up the next day with a pastrami burger and shakes (two) (only one good),
oh, and that mint brownie,
and that other mint brownie,
it is possible you might feel unwell,
especially if all your pants were too tight when you left your warm home in the desert,
where you can wear knit dresses all the day long,
and you fly to Utah where you are forced to wear pants because it is snowing outside.

You had your yoga pants along,
and you stared at them for awhile,
thinking how you'd like to wear them to the Marriott Center,
(Elder Bednar would have understood, I'm sure),
but then you'd have had to wear flip flops,
and since you were walking,
in forty degrees,
you decided to suffer your angry belly in Justin Timberlake's misogynistic straight-jacket-of-a-jean over possible frostbite.

And then if you go to a concert where somebody's granny kisses David Osmond on the mouth
It's okay! she says into the mike, I've been a widow for 26 years!
(It was not okay. It was super weird),
and then somebody (Kirby Heyborne) writes a song about Sheri Dew that made you snort aloud with mirth and pure joy,
you might forget about your discomforts,
if only for a moment.

Did I actually attend class, or did I spend all my time in line at the creamery sniffing warm waffle cones, and trying to buy a t-shirt in the bookstore that didn't include the word "Jimmer"?
Some of my favorites were
Virginia H. Pearce "By Small and Simple Things,"
Dennis and Joyce Ashton "In the Quiet Heart is Hidden",
Julie Beck,
Susan Easton Black "A Small Beginning in a Grove of Trees,"
Gaye Strathearn and Cecilia Peek "Believe in Christ."
We also weaseled our way into the Carl Bloch exhibit at the museum, and checked out the Dorothea Lange stuff downstairs while we were at it.

What's that? Did I take any photos of my great good time over to the BYU?
But did I take like a hundred of food, forks, and amorous peacocks.

Pea hens. Apparently there is a chicken/peacock half breed running around the place, but I didn't spot it.

When you start with four forks, you know your gonna have to pace yourself
Mom, Jen

Traci (known her since her diaper days in L.A., I even babysat her on occasion), Kari (college roommate, concert date, willing to drive thru Arby's in hurricane-style monsoon to get apple turnovers, and then when they were delicious, drive thru again 5 minutes later), Cousin Becky (only girl in family who is taller than I am), Jen (wearing fashion forward Sherlock Holmes style cape-let), Mom (thanks for dinner, and making us all laugh so loud we should have been thrown out), me, Cousin Lauri (why do you still look 16? You have a married daughter. Is a mystery).

Ah, Utah! 
I love thee. 
I shall be back soon 
(this month, actually, to see Kari and Bono and his healed back), 
and I shall be ready this time
with either 
a smaller butt 
or bigger pants.


Beeswax said...

And, I forgot to add, Tums.

Diamond in the Rough said...

I love it :)!! So glad that you had fun at Womens Conference. I was unable to go this year and super sad about it!