Monday, February 25, 2008

I Apologize for Propagating Mormon Urban Myths but I Was Nearly Attacked by a Cat

So, in case you were wondering, John-Boy ain't a Mormon. You might have heard that he was, because that's what I've been telling people.

Saturday night 4 hungry women (Mom, Jen, Melanie and I) went to see Twelve Angry Men at Gammage. It is about 90 minutes of jury deliberation on a (fictitious) 1954 trial. I liked it quite a lot. It was short and interesting. I didn't have to pee, which always makes for a better theater experience. The acting was mighty fine, but as usual, hard to hear. Frank Lloyd Wright's theater design is beautiful, but his acoustics aren't great. I did have trouble with the climactic moment, where the final juror changes his vote. He needed a pause or some additional dialogue or something. I didn't believe him at all. It looked and felt like acting. Jen disagreed. She thought the quick change was the point.

During the play, star Richard Thomas (of Waltons and Democracy fame) lit up and smoked a cig. After the play, I asked "I thought he was a nice Mormon boy? Maybe he didn't inhale." Melanie told us there was no question he was guilty of inhalation. He was expertly blowing those fancy smoke rings. I wonder how Melanie knows so much about tobacky?

So I googled him. He's no Mormon. At least the internet doesn't think so, and we all know the internet is always right. I'm not really sure where I got the idea. Maybe because he was in Go Toward the Light, that made-for-TV movie from the 80's about the little LDS boy who died of AIDS, and in The Christmas Box. It doesn't really follow, though, because I also saw the 1977 Brigham: A Savage Journey, in which Bull from Night Court plays Joseph Smith, and didn't make the same assumption that Bull was a believer. In fact, his poor acting makes his Joseph Smith look like a Saturday Night Live parody. He is entirely un-believer-able. But funny, even though he wasn't trying to be. I think.

P.S. I got into my van on Saturday, and I heard a ruckus in the trunk. I leaped out of my seat, just in time to see Stripy-the-feral-and-more-than-likely-pregnant-cat fly at me over the back seat, teeth bared, hissing and screeching and trying to find her way out. I started screaming like a girl, which only made her crazier. She threw herself around like a pinball in a machine until I used my button in the front to open all the doors (I'll bet Honda didn't know this would come in so handy), and she tore out of the garage and back around to the side of the house, where she thinks she lives. I'm not sure who was more terrified, me or Stripy. I do know this: only one of us was so scared she peed on the van's carpet.


Jolene said...

I just laughed out loud so hard!

I love that you thought John-Boy was a mormon. There are so many stories about Steve Martin and Lionel Richie being Mormon that the first time I heard someone say that Gladys Knight had joined the church - I didn't believe them.

I heard an LDS comedian say the funniest thing that there was no way that Lionel Richie could be Mormon or he never would have recorded the song - "Easy Like Sunday Morn".

P&M CLAN said...

I know how the cat thing goes. I get rid of my cat because of the neighbors & pete, but now I have to other cats that sleep on the chairs on my front porch. I've cleaned up throw-up twice from my porch and when it was raining I guess the cat decided to go pee on my front porch instead of going out in the yard. I might as well of kept my cat! And the cats won't even let you pet them!

One Sassy Mama said...

Okay - I totally thought John Boy was a mormon too. Did you know there is a website that outs famous mormons--I think it's That's how I found about the love of my life (I should say teenage life) - Ricky Schroder is indeed a mormon.

PS I laughed out loud at your cat story! When we lived in AZ I was loading kids into the van - and a pigeon flew in. We were all freaking out - the bird was flying around like a maniac--I opened every door in the van and he finally flew out. (Let's just say I'd much rather clean up a little cat urine then nasty and diseased bird poo.)

Brett & Shireen said...

how did the cat get inside your van?

Hailey said...

one sassy mama might be jelaous that I COULD have hung out with Rick Schroder on New Year's Eve if I had worked it. It just so happens that my friend's brother is best friends with him and he came to ring in the New Year's at their house in Midway, UT. Of course, I found out about this little gathering about 30 minutes before it was to begin, so unless I wanted to ditch my hubby with kids to go hob-nob, it wasn't going to happen. (I did consider ditching said husband for 3.2 seconds.)

Brigham said...

The "essence of feline" should take y'all back to the blue Geo days, especially after it rains.

Gini said...

OH my gosh.. what about Kevin Dobson??? I was so dang excited when I saw his name on the program. I know he's not Mormon but he sure looks good to me. AND, John-Boy wasn't smoking on Wed. night. We were in the middle of the front section and we could hear fine.. but there weren't many people there. We really enjoyed the play. I had wanted to see it since the twins studied it in high school.

Molly said...

They have herbal cigs, the celebs use those in movies when they have to smoke. At least thats what I've heard, so he could still be a Mormon!

Kelly said...

Ahhh! Herbal cigs. I should totally start smoking those. It will give me something to do while I'm drinking O'Douls.

I think that song is Lionel Ritchie's letter to mormons to tell us to leave him alone. It does seem very clear.

I'm glad someone was under the same impression about John-boy. Maybe we are sensing something? He could be a golden contact.

Hailey, you couldn't have gone over for a few minutes to get Ricky Schroeder pics for your blog? Surely Ben can see how important that is?

Which juror was Kevin Dobson?

Thanks Shireen. I didn't want to have to explain that I left the garage door and the van open all afternoon.

Pokejane said...