Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Thinking about (other people) having babies. Also thinking about pie.

I just spent 3.5 hours cleaning my car. I don't normally do this sort of thing, especially when it is 112 degrees outside. Okay, fine, I do it when I am 9 months pregnant. I make the other patrons at the self service vacuum area of the Dolphin Car Wash very uncomfortable as they watch me grunt and wedge myself into the back seat, but I feel DRIVEN to clean.

I am not 9 months pregnant right now.
As far as I know.
Although, it would be pretty great if I were, and had no idea, like those ladies on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, because hey, I get a baby without nine months of bleeding eyeballs. But honestly, I can't imagine a world in which I didn't know I was pregnant (since I can usually start barfing even before the early pregnancy tests come back positive), and I suspect all those ladies are totally faking it to get on TV.

I'm thinking about babies today because Jake's little sister is in labor with her first baby. And also because my little sister is pregnant with her eighth. EIGHT! (Her fifth pregnancy, she got three kids for free when she got remarried a year ago. Which is cheating, I hope she knows.) And she is so super sick, that looking at her gives me anxiety attacks.

Ross and Jane started school at BASIS Chandler. I like to grill them daily about how everything went. I grill Sam and Tom, too, but Tom refuses to give up any information, even under high pressure interrogation, except that the school day is MUCH too long, and that once he went to P.E., and there was a Frisbee involved. Then he clammed up and looked embarrassed that he'd said too much. Sam just tells me he didn't get into any trouble. Which is probably a lie.

So on the first day, Ross and Jane met some new kids. But, Ross announced, something weird happened. Kids kept coming up to me and saying, Hello! I'm so-and-so. It's nice to meet you. Then, the kid would put out his hand, and want me to shake it! It happened three times. But one kid, Winston, is from India. I think they do things different there. 

Jane said, Yeah. That happened to me, too. Shaking hands! Super weird.

I asked Ross if he feels like the work is too hard. He told me:  
Well, I think I'm ahead in some subjects, like English and Spanish. But I think I'm behind in science and math. Like, at lunch time, Winston asked George if he knew the sorts of Cretaceous dinosaur birds indigenous to Central America (or something like that. I can't be expected to remember this sort of question). And then, George told Winston he was really sorry, but he was only familiar with the South American varieties.

At lunch one day, Jane was eating Keira's lunch because she'd left her PB&J in Jake's truck. Luckily Keira had the largest and best lunch in the world.  

She had an extra Capri Sun, and cherries, and even a tiny pie from England!  

Oh? I asked. (The only thing more exciting than a pastry is a British pastry.) Tell me more. Where did she get it?

In England. They just got back this week. But you know what's funny? Divia was sitting with us, and she didn't know what pie was. She's never heard of it, or eaten it. She's from here, but her parents are from Pakistan. She also didn't know what blueberries or bobby pins were, and she has to buy all her meat from a special store.

Are your kids coming home with any good school stories, or do they refuse to talk? .Do you think I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant is for real? Are there other 'reality' shows you feel are suspect?


Barbaloot said...

My cousin had her first and second babies yesterday---two for one. That's definitely cheating.

All I know is that The Bachelor is 100% real and genuine-no question.

Brittany Larsen said...

Just reading about Jenn being sick and pregnant is giving me anxiety attacks. She is a better woman than I. My kids haven't started school yet, but I did get to say to an old lady at Costco who was castigating me about the unruliness of my children, "I don't need a lecture from you." So that was fun.

Carlie said...

I think mostly fakey-fake. The bigger girls, I kind of understand, but I saw a chick on there that was a small Asian and she claims she didn't know. I'm a shorter/smaller person and I know what I look like when I'm pregnant- it is quite obvious. I'd take one more kid if that was the case!

And, wow, Jen!

Carlie said...

P.S- I DO enjoy reading your blog. I've been behind in my blog reading for several months, it's time to get back on the wagon!

K said...

Jack is in Tommy's camp--concerned that telling me about lunch will provide too much evidence concerning . . . well, I'm not sure. Should look into that.

Sounds like your kids go to school at the UN. Very proper. Seriously high bar for packed lunches--Jack's brown bags wouldn't cut it at that school.

And, um, eight? Wow! Such an overachiever your little sister is. She would fit in at BASIS, for sure. I'll bet her baby's already packing it's own fancy lunches.