Thursday, December 13, 2007

Keeping up with the Martins'


So I saw my sister Jen's Christmas card yesterday, and in it, all her kids look like Guess models. To make matters worse, in the mail I'm getting cute Christmas cards from many of you and your beautiful offspring. So then I got sad and jealous because I didn't ruin a whole day getting everyone dressed up, then taking pictures where I look murderous. (I look that way because I because I actually become murderous, with evil tight-mouthed grin, and angry, smoldering eyes. Is very sexy, I know, but sexy is not desirable trait of family Christmas card pictures.) No children obey even smallest parental or photographer prodding. They make faces that look like they are defecating, or run about crazy, and Mom just scolds out the side of her snarling lip. After all this, I must mail them out on paper made from real-life trees, to everyone I know. So I was sad for a little while, but soon enough, I was happy again because in Digital Image Pro they had this template, so I plugged it with random shots (3 out of 4 of which were taken by talented SIL Jane at times when I was not at all cantankerous, much less homicidal. Thank you, Jane) and Wallah! (hick for Voila!): Beeson Christmas card 2007. I cyber-scrapped (I think I just made that word up. Someone tell me if that is a word) it for your viewing enjoyment. Yes, I know it isn't the same as stamped mail in your box. I know it looks a little homespun, but my kids are still the cutest ever. Even cuter than yours, and yours are darn cute, too. Please don't take me off your Christmas card lists. I promise to get a high fashion photographer or Annie Leibowitz next year (or maybe Aunt Jane can take some more pictures. Hers are likely better) and send you all head shots of my kids looking intense, brooding, and way awesome, like these kids:

Jack Zoolander on the left there is debuting a new look. Is it MAGNUM or BLUE STEEL?

Oh, and Jen: I put the apostrophe on the end of Martins' in post title to arouse your indignation. Strunk and White are turning in their graves, if, in fact, they are dead. Could very likely be alive, and Googling themselves. In which case they may read this and tsk tsk me. But they will not be shocked and horrified, because honestly, have you read the internet? Cybersitter doesn't block poor writing and grammar. Thing's are bad out their. Anyone highly sensitive to the difference between the possessive, the plural, and the contraction should stay off the world wide web or will likely need to be medicated.

4 comments:

Jen said...

Funny you put the apostrophe there on purpose, because yes, I noticed and wondered why you were randomly placing apostrophes even after our grammar conversation. Don't think I didn't notice the "their" instead of "there" you threw in for good (or bad) measure.

Guess models? Funny. It only cost me 5 bucks per kids over 5 to get them to happily participate in Christmas-card-picture Day. Unfortunatley, bribery doesn't work on 2-year-olds because when Claire was actually posing with the rest of the kids, she had marshmallows or raisins in her mouth.

jt said...

laughing out loud, both of us. I'll come take pictures of your cute kids anytime. Love your card!

Jenni said...

Ahhh, your card is cute!!! Loving your new term--cyber scrapping. It's digital scrapping, posted on the internet, so cyber-scrapping is a perfectly acceptable term. Jen's card is very cute too...all your kidos are adorable!!!

Heather said...

Our amazingly talented SIL Jane took my family's photo too. I've received more compliments on it than I can count. Who needs to spend their inheritance when we have her around?