Friday, June 06, 2008

R.I.P., Granada Hills High School.

So, you know how classmates.com sends you (and by you, I mean, me) emails, like twice daily, telling you that 10 old friends have signed your guest book on their website? And that for only 3 bucks a month, for a contract period of only 36 months, you can read what these potential long-lost loves and BFF's (who are only just trying to honor their solemn yearbook promises to K.I.T.) have got to say to you?

And you totally want to know who they are, and what they said, because you didn't go to your 10 year reunion because your actual BFF from High School, Shawna, thought she wanted new ceiling fans more than tickets to the event. And you sort of agreed with her that ceiling fans would be the better investment, in the long run.

Fact is, you REALLY didn't want to go to the reunion alone, or even with just your super-hot husband on your arm. You were afraid you wouldn't know anyone there, because only the extra, icy-cool kids would come to the reunion, the ones you had almost nothing to do with. You were busy editing the Editorial page on the newspaper, not dating any boys, and adjusting your kilt and pulling up you knee socks on your horrifying drill team uniform, while they were busy being awesome, 90210 style. Only their zip was 91344.

You pretty much looked exactly like the above googled image of the Highlander Drill Team (is amazing what you can find, eh?), except somehow these kids got outta wearing the knee socks with little flags on them. Lucky ducks. And even though you had John Elway's very, very OLD Spanish 3 book, it didn't make you look any cooler; not while you were wearing that jabot (lacy neck thingy), or when someone had to explain to you who John Elway is.

Even though you are in all the fake yearbook photos of the prom, you didn't actually go, like the cool kids did. (The prom was on a boat out of Long Beach. I have no idea who this guy is/was.)

Anyway, you were pretty sure the highest tier of class-of-'91 society only attended the reunion with the evil plan to make the not-terribly-cool kids feel like they did in high school, just one more time before they died. (that is, mildly lame, like when they've found broccoli bits from their morning omelettes stuck in their braces as they floss before bed).

Plus, people might have noticed that you looked a little squishy, and that your legs were not in top kilt-ready form, since you just had baby Jane just 2 months previous to said reunion.

Of course, you were just being dumb and paranoid, as usual, cause then you got emails and cards from people who missed you at the reunion, and you were a little sad you didn't go. Because your actual friends were there, ones you lost because you moved from California to Arizona within weeks of graduation in 1991. And some of them were cool kids, only you'd forgotten. You also forgot that almost everyone (cool, uncool alike) spends most of high school feeling like they've got the broccoli teeth.

Really, all this mental turmoil took took all of about 15 minutes, over the course of 10 years. So, really, you are making a bigger deal of it than it is, in reality. For blog effect. As usual.

Still, in the 7 years since, whenever you get the emails from classmates.com, containing potentially expensive messages from the past, you would wonder what they might say. Because you are human, and your extreme inquisitiveness is what differentiates you from the rest of the animal kingdom. That, and your opposable thumbs. Wait. That's not right.

Whatever. It's not important.
Because now, you know what the guestbook notes are about. You figured it out, without your Visa's help.

Those old friends just wanted to tell you that your high school, as you knew it, is gone. Since 2003. You don't really keep close tabs on things like that, and you just found out today. It is a charter school now. So now, the cheerleaders scream "GHCHS" instead of "GHHS". Apparently. And The Jets won't come and throw the whole student body a free concert in the gym because those kids wasted the most in-school, potential learning time, and killed the most trees, of all the kids in the whole of Los Angeles Unified School District, writing KIIS FM rocks GHHS on like 100,000 little pieces of paper. Those charter school kids would have to write GHCHS, and they'd likely think The Jets were even lamer than we did. (Though we screamed a lot, just to be polite. They did get me out of Algebra 2 for the day.)

And there might be even bigger changes at GHHS, besides the name, and the knee socks; you just don't know what they are. You're not really in the mood to google it, either.

So, RIP, GHHS. Now, if the gangsters have burned down Sepulveda Junior High School, somebody should let you know. You won't be surprised. Remember the drive-by shooting drills during PE? And all the ladies-of-the-daytime you could watch through the chain link fence, sidling up and down the other side of Sepulveda Boulevard? Course you do.

So, friends, how many of you attended (or will attend) your 10 year reunion? What about the 20 year? Has any one out there ever had any actual fun at one of these events?

P.S. You should tell classmates.com to stop harassing you. You aren't going to pay them. You are cheap that way.

70 comments:

Pam said...

Well, at least your school had a reunion you could skip out on. My class presidency was so lame that they planned a 5 yr.(which was super lame) and decided after that that was all they were going to do. Haven't heard from them since and yes I am way past my 10yr. too since we both graduated the same year. Go class of '91.
Don't feel bad about not going though... really is there many who actually go to their 10yr. reunion? I probably wouldn't have if given the chance and Jon didn't want to go to his either.
Loved the picture of your uniforms. I can see you right now shakin' it in your little plaid mini. :)

Frumpy Luv said...

Living out of the country was an excuse that pretty much got me out of the 10 year reunion without any worries.

Hey - you won my Tupperware giveaway!!! Could you please email me your details so I can lovingly mail these little guys to you??? frumpmyworld (at) live (dot)com.

Jaime Theler said...

LOL! I just stopped by to say that Yes, it is Jason Theler's family and he thought it cool you got in touch. Then I had to read your blog and it is simply mah-ve-lous! Kinda freaky how similar our thoughts are. I was also on the drill team - only we had sequins. Lots and lots of sequins. Couple that with braces and I truly shined in high school - just not like the cool kids. I'm so happy I dropped by. Wait... do I have broccoli in my teeth??

Sunnispace said...

Oh, my goodness, this is hilarious! I found your blog through Janelle at Frumpin it up (and congratulations on winning some tupperware! yea!) No, I did not attend my 10 year reunion because I was hugely pregnant, about 8 months, and wasn't about to show up like a bloated beached whale. I did go to my 15 year where a condescending (former) friend who I had not seen in 15 years, shook her head rolled her eyes and proclaimed that I was just the same. I've spent too much time wondering if that's good or bad. I will probably go to the 20 year (yikes - TWENTY YEAR) and hope to avoid said condescending friend. What is up with the emotions tied to reunions. Geesh.

Jenni said...

haha...well, you're gonna laugh at me when I tell you I'm in charge of our 10 year reunion..it's this summer actually. I'm excited to see who decides to come...it'll be crazy!

Frumpy Luv said...

Hi - got your address - sorry my account was hiding emails from me for a while!!! Will send off the goods tomorrow!

Erin said...

Kelly it was great hearing from you! Your blog is great and very funny...loved the highschool post!!! Some of us not only did not make it to our 10 year reunion but didn't quite get to our 20 year one either (although I did get the rundown of hightlights and it did not sound like I missed much). Gotta love the uniforms...those were the days!

Leslie said...

So funny! I actually paid the outrageous fee to go to my 10 year and then I totally forgot about it...the thing is...the people I would really have liked to see are the people I am still in touch with anyway!

Oh, and I need to email you about your curly hair secrets...I hope I'll get to it soon...how come life is busier in the summer?

shell said...

okay I had to laugh about the classmates.com email thing.

the same thing happens to me. I also get emails that say "8 people have searched for Shellie Kendrick find out who!!!"

My 10 year reunion is next summer. I'm not for sure if I'll attend because I live cross country (i'm in GA but graduated HS in Idaho) and I might be pregnant.

but I would if I could.

but here's the thing I'm nervous that I won't know anyone. My memory has really gone down the tube since I've had kids.

Brett & Shireen said...

My class (94) an the class of 95 did a combined 10 year reunion, so it was actually my 11 year. Lame. And no, I didn't go. I envisioned it being the chess club and drama people with a small smattering of folks from the hood. AND did I mention it was $100 a couple?

Brett's high school graduating class had 61 people. He refused to even consider going to his 5 year and I'm sure he never mentioned a 10 year. I don't think that'd be very fun anyway, people out there talk to me slow and loud like I don't speak English, so I would have avoided it if possible.

So Kelly, were you in the band? I can't remember seeing you in the knee socks and kilt, but I'm sure there are photos out there somewhere that I could dig up. I think it's a shame that GHHS Highlanders are now a charter school. I haven't heard anything like that happening to good ol' JFK, where there was an actual drive by during graduation rehearsal (good thing we had all those drive by drills so we knew what to do). So RIP GHHS, it was much easier to make fun of you as GHHS than it would be GHCHS.

Brett & Shireen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Fat & Sassy said...

I did go to my 10, 20 and 30th reunion in Holbrook and I was sad to see so many not come...Phillip only went to his 10th in Wilcox, I may get him talked into his 40th, who knows...I enjoyed mine, he did not and yea we get a ton of emails from classmates.com.

I really enjoy your posts, you are so enjoyable to read. If you see Jack and Will...please tell them hi for me, I just love them and their mom.

Gini said...

OH my gosh.. my high school reunions have been one of the highlights of my adult life! I always win the prizes for the most kids ( 5 at the 10 year).. now I'm winning for the most grandkids. The older you get the more fun they are!

Hailey said...

Tickets to my 10-year were $100 and it may have been one of the most uninteresting, lamest nights of my whole life.

Alyson said...

What a great post! I didn't go to my reunion either (class of '94). Had no real desire. Besides, I've been able to find a lot of old high school friends through facebook and didn't need to travel all that way and spend all that money to reconnect.

I didn't go to prom either. For my junior year I was an exchange student in England and I graduated early and didn't get a chance senior year. I didn't have any major boyfriends in high school anyway and probably wouldn't have gone had I been around.

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P.S. I bought some of that Bumble & Bumble curl creme because of your recommendation on your blog. Thanks for the tip because I love it! I also bought their defrizz. It helps a lot too.

Brian said...

So the dang Coldplay concert got postponed till November 26th but they are offering refunds and seeing as how I'll be in Utah for Turkey Day I'll get my $200 back.

Beeswax said...

NOOOO! Not Coldplay. Is so disappointing. At least will still have new album to comfort me, out the 17th!

I decided to take out all mention of stalkers (in case I still have one) from the previous comments.

So, it looks like most of you didn't go. Which supports my theory that my friends wouldn't be there.

But then we have Jenni, who is planning the thing. An anomoly. Since you are in charge, can I reccommend not making it so much money that people will opt out in favor of home furnishings?

And Sunnispace, who is a brave lady for going back. Course, you could just tell the mean girl that she isn't the same at all, unrecognizable even.

Welcome Erin!

Jaime, your teeth are GOOD. Come back soon.

Thanks, Frumpy. Am so thrilled to win something!

Shell, you'd be that skinny hot pregnant girl, which everyone hates. Which would be good, right?

SHireen,

can I come with you to BRett's reunion to act as your interpretor? Slow and loud, awesome.

Anonymous said...

wait..u guys used to write in little papers to kissFM so they could have the jets at GHCH??

i'm class of 06' and we had to TEXT Kiss FM so we could have Frankie J come to the school...and he did =)

(u guys wrote in little papers... lol!!!!!)

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