Saturday, June 21, 2008

The story with the elusive moral; or, how Tommy learned to waterproof his own bum

Yestermorn, whilst I was doing laundry, dishes and making beds (i.e. catching up on blogs after mini-break in Payson), Ross yells "Mom! Do you want to come see this?"

I do want to come see that.
I've been a mom long enough to know to always answer that question in the affirmative.

While still en route to Tommy's room, I can see from the far end of the hall that Tommy has disrobed entirely, has climbed up on the changing table, removed his wet diaper, and taken a new diaper from the drawer.

He's changing his own pants.

It isn't until I enter the room, though, that I see he has also located the Desitin, and is applying it with great care and skill to his own backside.

He's doing a marvelous job. There will be no diaper rash in his immediate future, not with such thorough coverage of his nether regions.

I'm not sure what to make of this. I think there are some clear lessons, certainly. The two that first came to mind were these:

1. Do not read anything while Tommy is awake. At 2 years, 1 month, he is at the zenith of his destructive game. On the smart/destructive scale, he sits evil-eyed in the center of the graph. From here, he will only get more smart, and less destructive. Of course, there will be a period in his teens, when he first gets his driver's license, when there might be a spike of destructive, as well as a dip in smart, but that doesn't change the fact that today, he is very, very dangerous.

2. He is capable of changing his own diaper, and looking after the welfare of his own crack; ergo, he should be capable of using a toilet.

The more I think about it, I feel I am missing some more subtle lessons. I just don't know what they are. What is the moral of the story? Maybe if I squint hard, I can read between the lines:

1. My children are capable of much more than I appreciate, and I can expect more if I teach more?

2. My babies are only pretending to be helpless; when my back is turned, those sneaky babes are probably online betting on the ponies, or studying calculus by the sof glow of their fishy night light. Then they cry for a bobble, and fill their pants. I've been duped. We've all been duped.

3. I should just be happy that, although he isn't out of diapers YET, I won't have to change them anymore. Which is almost as good, but still expensive. (Really, am I willing to let him have a go with any solid waste? No.)

4. I should be thrilled that Ross actually noticed something that was going on outside of a book, the computer, or the wii.

That's all I've got. I got no more.

I'll think about it some more while I get ready for My Fair Lady over at Gammage tonight. Janie is coming along for the first time, with Jen and Mom, too. Dinner first at House of Tricks off Mill Ave.


Alyssa said...

This is amazing! My son is almost exactly the same age (just shy of the month) and he's just getting to the point that changing time is not torture. But he did go #2 in the potty the other day, instead of going in the bathtub! Maybe these are sign of being ready to potty-train!

And I sure hope you're wrong. I hate thinking that I may have been duped these past years!

sarinahbrooks said...

Sounds fun! You do have children of sure genius - I remember the lessons I have taught Jane and Ross in Scouts - the kids have smarts! As for MFL - have an amazing time!

kitchenditcher said...

Desitin. Have you ever seen anything else like it? Man, that stuff is bullet proof. Not much gets past it. Someone should cook it till it hardens and then make tanks out of it.

I would say Tommy is well-protected!!

Pam said...

I think really that this is your lucky day. When babies can change their own diapers with cream and all. You have got it made my dear.

Jolene said...

Desitin on the bum is so much better than bag balm in the carpet. It does not matter how many times the carpet cleaners come - there is still evidence. You really do have smart kids.

Anonymous said...

WOW! That is GREAT!!!

I'd say you've got a little Genius on your hands!!! :)

and I think it is TIME FOR POTTY!!!!

Scripture Power said...

Come see this blog!

Heather said...

Good job Tommy! He doesn't want to wait around for you, he goes at it himself! Bet you had to scrub those little fingers, that stuff IS hard to get off. Your kids are so cute and SMART!!

acte gratuit said...

That's pretty darn funny. :)

Nichole said...

Kelly I loved to read your blog. Whenever I need a good laugh I can hop on your blog. I love the way you write. We need to get Jen blogging. She would write just like you. Sounds like you are having a great summer. How was My Fair Lady?

Erin said...

Wow a two year old applying Desitin correctly AND unassisted...that is pure genius! He may just give a whole new meaning to the art of potty training! Way to go Tommy!

Anonymous said...

I have actually been a faithful lurker for some time now. I've always wanted to comment, but you're so clever and hilarious, I was afraid I would just sound like an idiot. Yes, I'm in AZ. I wish my 2-year-old would get on the band wagon with potty training. She refuses to do it. She knows what it's about and would rather go in her pants, because she is lazy. So I have now accepted the fact that she will never be potty trained. She already wears size 6 diapers, I guess we'll have to move on to Depends next. Maybe they'll be cheaper!

Anonymous said...

BTW I am good friends with your SIL Lizzie. That's how I found your blog. I actually went to the temple when she received her endowments and was disappointed you weren't there. I mean, I could have actually met Beeswax in person! But alas, you were gallivanting.

Alyson said...

I'm totally feeling ya on how much smarter they are than we give them credit for. I've had odd little moments with the kids from time to time, where I thought "ok, I thought you weren't THAT smart or capable". I think they like to keep some of their abilities secret to use at their discretion or when it might benefit them.

The Broad Squad said...

ROF!!! Too funny! Well, better on the bum then in the ears, on the carpet, on the dog!

Renae Alexander said...

Have you ever tried getting it out of a two year olds hair? :) I will always remember that .... She had the smoothest hair for days. ;)

Alishia said...

Wow! I have a few diapers over here that Tommy can come change. Do you hire him out?? We'll pay top dollar. He'll need a cell phone though so we can call when his services are needed.