Wednesday, October 22, 2008

So, let's say we skip right to Thanksgiving? I already made the rolls.

Last night we had an Enrichment activity where we learned to cook a turkey in a paper bag, and shared holiday recipes. 

Which is lovely, of course, but that is not why I attended. I didn't really want new recipes for Thanksgiving, because I always get assigned to make Aunt Ardy's rolls. And, no, I didn't go just to socialize with all the nice ladies that I don't ever see anymore because I am in Primary, although that was lovely, too. I went because people would bring samples of their recipes, and I have rule that I shall not ever turn down a Thanksgiving dinner, whatever day of the year it is served. And really, I wouldn't want to turn it down. Would be crazy behavior.

Like, why can't we just skip all this Halloween stuff, and have Thanksgiving in October with our obviously brilliant Canadian friends? My kids don't even have costumes and the ward party is Saturday night. I went to Spirit the Halloween Superstore yesterday to preview the goods, and the place was literally 50% sexy-fill-in-the-blank-lady costumes (really? Sexy Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? With stiletto ruby slippers?), 40% really scary crap that made me wet my pants a little bit, like plastic bloody legless old man stump people that scream and crawl at you on the floor, 5% sexy costumes for tweens (seriously, the section was called naughty innocence, or something repulsive like that. Is horrid proof that the end of the world is nigh), and 5% regular children's costumes, made of crappy pup tent fabric, for nothing less than 30 bucks. Without any props or regalia, which cost extra, and have mostly already been purchased by braver moms who were able to talk themselves into coming here last week, and who probably had the foresight to wear Depends. I cannot bring my children here anyhow, because remember how Jane still sleeps in my room because I showed her Michael Jackson's Thriller video, like 6 months ago? This place is way worse than Thriller, freaky-wise.

 So I left. And I dulled my sorrow with paper bag turkey. Which is surpisingly juicy. 

I brought some of Aunt Ardy's rolls along with me to Enrichment, as part of my deep cover as an inquisitive holiday chef. Because, I really felt like destroying my perfectly clean kitchen. And because they are good rolls, if you like buttery pillows of heaven. And if you don't, I think we might need to break up, and I don't think we can even be friends.

And while I made them, I started to think about Ardy. And I got pretty sad, because Ardy and Uncle Dick were killed in a car accident a little over a year ago. But then I thought about this one time, while I was still in college, when we had been over at their house in Dimple Dell Park, in Sandy, Utah, when Ardy was trying to send me and cousin Melanie home with piles of food, as usual; and as usual, we would take it and scarf it down like a pack of rabid hyenas after a 10 day fast, and then return, the next day, to our awesome 90's low fat diets that didn't work because it was pretty much all carbs all the time; but who cared, cause honestly, we were pretty foxy with or without those 10 pounds. You know, the good old days. 

That long ago Sunday evening, Aunt Ardy said something that changed my life a little bit: "pie for breakfast, cake for lunch, cookies for dinner," (okay, it might have been candy bars for dinner, but the spirit of the mantra is still intact). Something clicked in my brain when she said that, and ever since, I make no pretense about the treats. I am proudly all about the treats. Pie for breakfast is a great idea, and if you are lucky enough to have pie at your house at 7 am, you really ought to eat it. Only maybe not every day, cause then your pants get tight, and that is super miserable. But as I thought about pie for breakfast, I wasn't so sad anymore. So I think Ardy was comforting me with rolls and thoughts of pie. It totally worked.

Ardith Taylor Eakins, while on one of her missions (either Myanmar or Cambodia). Look at that weirdo missionary behind her. What a card. Maybe one of you will be like "hey, that's my husband," and I will be happy to know that that little weirdo was able to get a date. Cause honestly, he's a weirdo.

So after all that, I forgot to bring the recipe for the rolls to the potluck, er, I mean, important learning experience that will bless the lives of my family with my new culinary expertise. So I said I'd put it on the internets. 

So here is the recipe. 

Ardith's Rolls, 

(Kelly's version)


3 eggs

1 1/4 c. very warm water

1 t. salt

2 T. or 2 pkgs. yeast

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. or 1 cube melted butter, (plus another cube for later on, keep that one cold)

4 c. flour


Stir eggs, water, sugar, salt, and butter thoroughly with the Bosch whip whip attachment. Add yeast and stir again. Let stand for 10 minutes or until when you stir with a wire whip you cannot see granules of yeast. It must be thoroughly blended. Add 3 cups of flour, 1 at a time, beating well after each with the wire whip. (I beat the first 3 cups with the whip attachment, then change the beaters to the cookie paddles.) Add the fourth cup of flour, and beat 5 minutes with the cookie paddles. I usually add a little more than four cups of flour, just because it looks too sticky to be believed, but maybe it is better without? Ardy seemed to think so!


(if you don't have a mixer, beat the first three cups of flour in with a wire wisk, and the fourth with a wooden spoon.)


Cover with a towel and let rise in a warm place (oven). When it is double in size, quite heavily flour a flat surface and pour the dough onto the floured surface. It will be very sticky. Turn it over once and pat the dough down with your hands until it is about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick. Cut using a glass about 2.5 inches across for smaller rolls, or 3 inches for larger ones.


Grease a pan lightly. Cut a round of dough, place a small pat of butter near the middle, tuck it all the edges to form a ball around the butter pat, and put it in the pan. Put the rolls right next to each other, but not quite touching. I do them fairly small, and get about 6 across the short side of a jelly roll pan. place the next row a little ways off to give some raising room. Each batch makes about 45 of these smaller rolls, or 36 larger ones.


Let the rolls rise until about double in size or a little less, about 30 minutes. Put them in a preheated 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes. They need to be reasonably brown on top to be done in the middle, but watch them closely. They brown fast!


I usually double the recipe, and use a total of about .85 pounds of butter. I take the rest of the pound, and melt it to brush over the top of the warm rolls. Just cause I can.


Dick and Ardy, with cake. Which means, of course, that it must be lunch time.

34 comments:

Kristen said...

LoVE those rolls!

McEwens said...

Love those rolls!! That missionary, WHAT A FACE!!! What a great mission to go on, she looks so happy!!!

erin said...

I want some of those rolls now!.. and a side of cake would be great. Love this post :)

Marie said...

Since you said it, I will too. Really a weirdo!

I got to say, I love your writing. Witty and Fun. Just like Pie, Cake, and Chocolate (or whatever).

LisAway said...

I wonder if you can guess what I'll be making for Thanksgiving dinner this year. I'll give you a hint: I like buttery pillows of heaven.

There's also a second reason I'll be making these. I'm pretty sure I didn't read "knead until your arms fall off" anywhere in that recipe. Just my style.

wonder woman said...

oooohh....homemade rolls.....did you wear your apron and heels as you made them? Love Aunt Ardy's mantra. Might just put that in vinyl on my kitchen wall.

jt said...

I was just going to ask you, used-2-be-food-storage-lady/beeswax, for your favorite bread recipes. Costco had lehi flour on for $4.94/25 lbs. I hope that was a good deal, cause I have 100 lbs. of flour on my counter and a new, sealed pack of yeast. And butter.

Gas was $2.79 too. whoa.

Barbaloot said...

Love this post. And I love your Thanksgiving dinner rule. I think I'm gonna have to copy you on that. Please?

sue q said...

You got me all weepy eyed! I have an "Aunt Ardy", too, believe it or not, but mine is Aunt Mardy! What a coincidence! They must be from the same generation, because Mardy always, ALWAYS, put a dollop of ice cream on whatever we had for breakfast. Cereal, scrambled eggs, and yup, even oatmeal. Especially oatmeal. And thank you for the roll recipe -- I've never been very good at bread, but I'll try any recipe once!

Hailey said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that has cake for lunch.

Lovely pictures of Ardy.

nevadanista said...

I love reminiscing, and I think it's a wonderful thing to do on a blog! Seems like your aunt Ardy was a lovely person - nice tribute.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

loved this post. thanks!

sarinahbrooks said...

Oh, Kel - you seriously made me cry. I cherish your Auntie Ardy. She was my most favorite Relief Society sister even, especially president. She was amazing and always knew when and how she was needed. While on the IV's for those few months, she came by several times a week and I cherished her every minute. That girl could cook and I am a better pie maker because of her. I loved her and you rock for carrying on the rolls. Do you give private instruction? I need a girly out and would love to throw some flour around after halloween! I share your sentiments on the pie,cake,cookie breakfast. Awesome!

Frumpy Luv said...

who doesn't like buttery pillows of heaven!! Yumm-o!

Jenni said...

Oh, I adore those rolls...they make their way onto my kitchen table at most holidays as well!

SugarHouse Mama said...

Yummie. (I came on over after seeing you LRS post). Anywho. I will for sure be making those rolls. But I wanted to mention that Martha, as in Stewart, vehemently proclaims cooking a turkey in a brown paper bag is VERY unsafe. Unless you use a specific (i.e. made and purchased for the purpose of cooking only) bag that is designed for such cooking. Also, she says it is very unsafe to cook turkey below 325*, which is what most of those brown paper bag recipes call for.

I take Martha as gospel (but I also researched it on the internets and found it to be true).

Just wanted to share. I really really don't want you to get sick as I love your posting too much.

Heidi Ashworth said...

You give me the courage to use such words as pastiche and card (when referring to a unique fella) on my blog because heretofore, I felt that it was a bit odd and totally incomprehensible by the general public but since these are words I certainly use in my every day life, I am going to blog them, too. Oh, and sorry about your aunt and uncle--it just doesn't seem fair to send them around the world as missionaries and then take them away like that does it? Sad.

Becky said...

"...buttery pillows of heaven?" Fabulous! Love the imagery. And rolls.

How lucky you are to have had an Aunt Ardy. I've never been close to my extended family, but I love hearing stories like this one.

CassiB said...

I am making these rolls tomorrow, yum. Thanks. Oh and I love cake for breakfast, key lime pie too. But not tootoo often!

Brittaney said...

Kelly,
Last night at the "potluck" everyone was talking about your blog and I couldn't wait to read it. I loved your post about your Aunt Ardy. I loved her. I still remember before I was even a member of the ward officially you and her showed up on my door step with a goodie and welcomed me into the ward. I felt so loved, and appreciated you two so much. I also am the Thanksgiving Pie maker thanks to Ardy.

Corrie said...

I love how you ended that post. Really a great one there. I like her advice and thanks for sharing it. My daughter had a piece of her birthday cake for breakfast this morning and I was happy to see her eat it.

Heather said...

Your Aunt Ardy was a sweet lady, I new her for a short time when we moved back into the ward. I was lucky enough to take the roll baking class from her at her home. She was such an example to us all in many ways.
Thanks for bringing some to our meeting. That might be mandatory for you through the holidays!! :)

CASSIE said...

What a little homemaker you are!! Question....is Jenn looking for a Nanny? I knew she was a while back-- There is a lady in our ward that needs a nanny job...just checking...Let me know!

stacey @ tree, root, and twig said...

What a wonderful "find" your blog is! Glad I tripped upon it today - this is a fabulous post.

In the spirit of all things yummy and delicious, my secret weapon at any RS potluck is dish soap. That is...I wash all the dishes my HUSBAND uses in making wonderful rolls, pies, tarts, whatever! The ladies positively fawn all over them, and the only sacrifice I have to make is dish-pan hands. Not too shabby! :)

The Fear Fam said...

Wonderful post, I enjoyed hearing about your Aunt Ardy. And her mantra is one that I most definitely agree with. In fact, I just polished off not 1 but 2 pieces of chocolate banana pie! I feel totally sick but it was worth it. :)

I also had to comment on the Halloween costume thing. It's sickening, isn't it? I saw a "sexy female Harry Potter" costume in the store today that was essentially a woman in a bikini with round glasses and a wand. Oh, and a tie. And even the young girl costumes are racy. I am so thankful both my girls want to be Buzz Lightyear this year, and that my son is too young to care that he's going to Trunk-or-Treat in his sister's hand-me-down ladybug costume.

Ok, I'm done rambling. I promise. Love your blog. :)

cookingsherri said...

Baked good are heavenly. Thanks for sharing. I collect recipes.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I'll definitely be using this recipe because guess what! Since we brilliantly moved thousands of miles from any family, I have to make the ENTIRE Thanksgiving meal myself. Yeah, it's great, especially for a girl who balls herself into the corner everytime she thinks about cooking dinner!

This was a terrific post, Kelly! You're awesome!

Bee said...

Your Aunt Ardy sounds like a wonderful person. I like her mantra a lot, and in fact there is nothing that I like better for breakfast than cold pumpkin pie. I actually went to buy some pumpkin yesterday, and can you believe that they don't have it in my English grocery store?? They said that sales were currently suspended. What? Don't they realize that we are in prime pumpkin season right now? Craziness, all around me.

I will try these rolls, because carbs are my friend.

kitchenditcher said...

You know the statement "Man cannot live by bread alone."? Uh,NO!! I could eat bread all day, every day. And I might just do that after I make these rolls.

bella said...

Thank you for posting the recipe for your Aunt's rolls and especially for the wonderful story and photos attached. I am going to try out these rolls this week. Wish I was in Arizona, your Enrichment Meeting sounds like it was great.... I've never had paperbag Turkey before. My son served a mission in Phoenix and said that he was 'well fed' those 2 years! Great cooks out there.

Julie said...

Hi Beeswax! We've not yet met but I am new in your ward. I was on someones blog and just clicked on yours (hope you don't mind). Just wanted to let you know that I loved this post. Just this morning I had a cupcake for breakfast (leftover from last nights ward party). And there is not one feeling of guilt. Hope to meet you soon.

Renae said...

What a great post. Your Aunt Ardy was amazing. How lucky you are to have had her as your aunt. I'm always wanting to try new rolls and will definately be making these asap.

LisAway said...

I just had to come back on here and tell you that I couldn't wait until Thanksgiving. We just had these with some Vegetarian Borscht and YUM! They are very delicious.

My littlest boy is very sick right now and isn't eating much at all. He ate two rolls tonight and keeps asking for more. So glad! Again, yum, and thanks for the recipe. Yum.

Pam said...

I loved your Aunt Ardy so much. I learned to make rolls and pies from her right in her kitchen and that is something I will never forget.
I promise the rolls are as wonderful as you make them sound.