(Totally stole it from my sister. I think is bad karma to steal mantras?)
Anyhow. It is working, I guess, cuz I am.
Kids have been home a week now. And it feels like a party, all day, every day. Maybe like a frat party. Because there's fun and friends and lots of pool frivolities, certainly, but also fighting sometimes, and drinks flowing like water (because actually is water, and also some lemonade. Is 100 degrees.), and then the house gets really, really wrecked and nobody wants to clean it. Sometimes people pee in the bushes if they can't get to the toilet (most of these people are toddlers), somebody always throws up on me (the baby, mostly), and then we all try to sleep it off in the morning. That's my favorite part. The kids aren't wholly on board with the sleeping part, yet.
I'm super tired. And I never get a moment of peace. You can't normally expect to, at a frat party. Okay, fine, I don't really know anything about frat parties. I went to the University of Arizona for two years, and never attended one. But I heard some stories, people.
(Boy, I don't sound very cool right now. And I wasn't. Instead of the frat parties, I went to Institute dances where they played a lot of Footloose music. And it was the 90s.)
Tonight we went scorpion hunting. We bought a big black light at Walgreens, and sure enough, Jane found one of Hell's own arachnids out by the living room window, fluorescing green and creepy like a Halloween glow stick. She smashed it with Ross' shoe, and she collected her 50 cents. My Mom (who lives just a couple houses down the canal) got stung on Friday, and her finger is still numb, so we are all pretty jumpy. But so far we've been lucky, I guess.
If you think it is lucky that we had a three inch hairy spider on the front porch last night. It was big. And so hairy, he coulda used a haircut, or a side part. It looked like a tarantula. For all I know, it WAS a tarantula. Seriously, I'm not cut out for dealing with desert fauna. Jane squealed and told me I should spray it with hairspray, so I did. That just made it mad. (Perhaps he thought I was attempting to style his very long gray hairs on his enormous bulbous abdomen?) I'm getting the heeby-jeeby-shudders right now, reliving it.
Only thing worse than hairy spiders and scorpions? SNAKES.
My Dad ran into a rattlesnake last week while he was hiking. He was alone and listening to his ipod, so he didn't hear it rattling and striking at him 'til he was nearly upon it. Then he stopped to take photos. Brilliant. He's also seen a giant desert tortoise and a couple of mountain lions this spring. Not bobcats. Mountain lions. Huge. He's lived in Arizona most of his life and never seen one before. And two together is especially rare, cuz they are lone hunters and only seek each other out to mate. So, who knows what he interrupted?
And that is all I have to say tonight. Just: I'm fine with June, but not with all these critters.
What are you doing this month? You got yourself a mantra?
What kinds of nasty insects/amphibians/reptiles/bugs that look eerily like tiny lobsters but not in a way that makes you want to dip them in clarified butter do you have at your house?