Monday, April 09, 2012

You double dog dare me?

Hi there again. I'm back because I realized that I like it when bloggers post stuff even if it isn't super interesting, so I'm thinking I should try that for awhile. Because I'm trying new stuff and it's working for me. Just like how I took your advice and got off my treadmill and started P90x and stopped eating buns on my In-n-Out burgers, which always seemed really stupid to me in the past but is actually medium tasty, and now, thanks to you, I've lost 2 pounds! I'm pretty full of myself these days (but sadly, completely empty of delicious bread, cookies, and treats of all sorts, so also pretty cranky) because of my recent success, and so now I have a new and open-minded view of the world; so, if you've secretly always wanted to dare me to do something crazy, this is your chance!

But what's that? You need more information? Like weird stuff I've already done, and gross stuff I absolutely won't do?  Let me help:

I have already eaten snails. Dozens of them. I find them, like everything else in garlic and butter, delicious. Ditto frogs.

I will fer shur doll myself up 1950s style, and start drinking and smoking:

Mad Men party

I won't eat live bugs.
I will consider eating dead bugs which have a heavy milk chocolate coating.

I've already been swimming in the submarine lagoon at Disneyland. This was in the pre-Nemo days. I wanted to wave at the people on the ride (spoiler: you did not really go 20,000 leagues under the sea), but a cranky old lady at the Kodak Special Moments photo opportunity site ratted us out us to a kind Disney employee, who begged us to stop molesting the giant animatronic clams, but didn't kick us out of the park. Even better, nobody contracted Hepatitis!

I will totally wear a coconut bra on my birthday:

Or to the ward Halloween party.
Will I wear a pencil skirt? No. Grass skirt? Yes.

I will not have another baby on a dare.
But if you have a baby, I will go to the hospital and take 200 photos of it within 2 hours of its birth:

Introducing my new nephew, Liam Taylor N., who joined us March 29th

I will not let you lock me in a box with lives scorpions (or snakes). Or even bunnies.
I do not want to be locked in a box.

I think I already tried para sailing. I honestly can't remember if I went, or if I just sat on my cabana chair in Cancun and considered it. That's weird, right? But it was a really good vacation, and I was so relaxed and guacamole-stuffed I was in a low-grade coma, which might explain the amnesia.

I will not get a Brazilian wax.
I will put that Brazilian wax on my hair to make it straight and shiny. (Does this confuse anybody else?)

I will also get my whole family up in western wear, but I will choose to be a 'proper lady', and not a 'naughty madame'.

To sum up, I am willing to try all sorts of new stuff, especially if it involves dressing up and looking ridiculous, "bringing it", photographing it, or wrapping it in lettuce. But I am unwilling to try new stuff involving bugs and reptiles or tight spaces.

So what do you dare me to do next?

What about you? What have you done on a dare? 
(I especially want to hear about the things of which you are ashamed.)


Liz said...

I dare you to write a book.

And now that you have tried it, I am going to have to try a protein burger. We should meet there w the boys.

Hildie said...

I dare you to take a pole dancing class. It actually looks really fun.

Beeswax said...

Yikes! Maybe I should write a book about pole dancing classes?

It it too late to pick truth? :)

Brittany said...

Have you hit the constipation phase of P90X yet? Because without fiber, well, you know. But you'll definitely have the body for the pole dancing when you're done with it.
I once got dared to French kiss a boy. (Usually I didn't really need to be dared. Or even wined and dined). He was a terrible kisser, so I wish I hadn't taken that dare.
I dare you to come see us again this summer!