Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Not so Glamorous

I think it's hard to be uptight and have four kids. If there's a flow, you go with it. Things never, that is: 0% of the time, go like you predict. Luckily, my personality is well-suited to my chosen profession (except that loud noises drive me bonks, and the noise will make me ill-tempered. So maybe I should say I'd be well-suited to motherhood if I could have a soundproof glass partition between me and the kids in the car like in a limo). I am not a list-maker, or the kind of gal who plans her whole day before it begins. I normally tend to forget things, but now I've set my cute red Blackberry Pearl to remind me 15 minutes before cub scouts starts (Ross, put on your uniform!), 2 hours before Family Home Evening (Oh no, Pearl is right! It is Monday, isn't it?), or two days before book club (so I have enough time to buy the book and read it. Usually.) Everything runs smoothly until I forget to charge my phone.

Today is such a day when all my careful plans, had I made any, would have been crushed; and the organized, super-productive Kelly, had there been one, would have been horrified by all the stuff that couldn't get done. But I only had plans to help in Jane's class, and clean up my kitchen after a day and a night of wild, raucous, wheat merriment. Maybe fold clothes, if things went very well.

So when Jane got up this morning and started to barf, I was able clear my schedule and hold her hair and the bowl for her with no problem at all. So far, she has barfed 12 times. She is keeping careful count, and keeping me updated. So I've been caring for her (no giant messes yet. She got sick on the tile once, but in our family rules for illness, that is considered fair play. I'll clean up tile with a smile.) Then, while Jane is lying on the couch clutching her bowl, and we are having yet another discussion about mean girls (just in general, not the movie), and why not to be one (I am somewhat concerned for her future), I noticed little squiggly blue lines on my fancy oriental rug. Apparently, when Tommy got into the dish washing liquid on Sunday, he did not get it only all over his feet as I previously wanted so desperately to believe.

Why is Dawn antibacterial orange scented dish soap BLUE? Wouldn't orange have been nicer? What can I use to clean it up? Grease? It won't stop foaming. I keep adding water and scrubbing but the suds won't quit. All the while I am fantasizing about living in a barn. A barn with AC. Barns rarely have oriental rugs. Two hours I worked at it, and all I've got to show for it are very clean hands. I guess the next step is to take it out and hose it, but this rug isn't small and I won't be able to lift it myself.

On Friday night at Bass Pro, Cousin Melly told me I needed a new blog profile image, because the one I have doesn't look a thing like me. She said it looked 'glamorous'. I took geometry, and that was no compliment. But today I realize, she is right. There is little glamour about me these days, and if you know me well, this image is probably disorienting. So I stole a new picture from SIL Jane's blog, because she is the only person lately who has been kind enough to record my image for posterity. (When I looked through our digital images, all I found of me were taken in Europe, where like everyone else, I had very bad hair. Old electrical systems in old buildings conspire to shut off your blow dryer before frizz can be tamed. There are also a few pics taken during or after water rides at various amusement parks. I deemed both (the bad hair and the drowned rat photos) highly entertaining but unacceptable for this purpose.)

Today has already been full of surprising adventures. Jake isn't coming home tonight (last test at Broker School), so I need to pace myself. Right now I need to go clean up the wheat flour powder off the kitchen floor, so it can't get mixed into the wet, sudsy spot in the family room and make paste. While I'm at it, I might look just a tiny bit glamorous. I have lost 3 pounds, and I am having a great hair day.

Check out my new blog Food Storage Lady. It has my handouts from yesterday's Wheat Soiree. My 14 grain bread is practically famous. Look over there if you have any interest in buying an electric grain mill. If I get an order of 10 or more they are $139.99 each. Cheap cheap.


Gini said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
melanie said...

LOVE the new photo. You look great and it's a little artsy. Jane sure is a good photog!

jt said...

I think you look glamorous in that photo too. We've got the sick kiddos too, only mine only like to throw up on my bed, the carpet and ME. You are teaching them good things(hitting the tile & toilet!)

like your red phone.

Jake Beeson said...

What did the deleted post say?
I think you're glamorous in your photos AND in person.

Kelly said...

I don't know what the deleted one said. Somebody writing rude stuff, then repenting of it, I'm sure. Jane IS a great photographer. I like how Jake is in the background all blurry.

Brett & Shireen said...

I think you totally look glamorous, I just saw you today and you actually look quite a bit like the Glamorous Kelly from the picture you recently removed. But I love the new picture!