Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Why I dig Blond Afros and...If You're going to Racially Profile Me, at Least Get it Right.

I hesitated to start a new post that would oust Chris Martin (Coldplay guy) from the top of my blog. I have always had a thing for blond, curly hair. Art Garfunkel was a real hot tamale. (Though in the picture below he looks more like a clown than a tamale.) Steve from 90210 and Michael Bolton don't do much for me, though I can't help but be impressed by the copious chest hair?! Can you think of any more? I'll add them to my collection here...

I think my preference is rooted in pre-mortal memories. I somehow knew I was destined to have all these blond, curly babies, and I was looking for their father. (I'm a little bit not kidding.) Who might have guessed that even though my head was turned by Jake's dark good looks, we would still have a house full of tow heads.

Jake with Garfunkel's hair

You know what's fun about Caucasians? (How terribly politically incorrect of me, I know.) A colorful variety of recessive genes. You just never know what you are gonna get. I'm pretty sure Asian babies are the cutest in the world, but I'll bet Chinese parents don't waste a lot of time standing around speculating on whether those eyes will be blue, or if all that black hair will fall out and come in red. (Though I'm sure, like everybody else, they do stand around speculating about something.)

My sister Jen is a great example. She doesn't look English and German. She has been accused of Italian, Middle Eastern, and even Korean. Mostly Hispanic. She was racially profiled at the pediatrician's office last week. The nurse was sure Jen spoke Spanish, and didn't understand her English question. If Jen did understand, "Caucasian" couldn't be her answer. So the nurse tried again: "White?" "Yes, white," Jen affirmed. The nurse remained unconvinced.

Her exotic good looks made her a bit smug. She told me soon after she married: "All our kids will look like me! I've got the dark skin, hair and eyes! Andrew's pasty white Scottish skin and blue eyes won't get past me!" We've all made the mistake. She underestimated the power of her own recessive genes. And Och, if she doesn't have 4 little blue-eyed bairns over there, and a couple even have ruddy cheeks that make them look like they've been spending too much time running about the moors and highlands in their kilts.

I've got brown and blue-eyed babies so far, but we are still hoping someone will get my Mom's green eyes. We have hair that is brown and blond, curly and straight, fine and course. We've got dark skin, light skin that tans, and shockingly white skin. We've got Tommy with a Mongolian spot on his backside, which proves we have some Asian, African, Hispanic, or American Indian genes of our own! I can't wait to see who starts going nearsighted, and prematurely gray, first. Recessive genes are SUPER FUN!

I take Tommy and Sam to Costco, and put them together in the front of the cart. The old people ask which one is adopted. (You can always count on Costco snowbirds to say something wildly inappropriate.) Tommy is dark, Sam is light. Dominant and recessive. Its all good. I just hope I get some more blond curly ones in the next generation. I sure dig 'em.

Yin and Yang

(Tommy and Sam)


Shannon said...

It's funny and amazing the things people ask! i wish i knew more about Genetics, i think that would go for some interesting Conversation with Some "particular" strangers!

LOVE your blog, it's very entertaining!!

Lizzie said...

thanks for the genetics lesson. I am kinda excited to see what I will end up...but I guess that takes a husband first...ha ha ha

Sarah said...

okay so maybe it's a stretch to call him blonde, but Elliot Yamin from American Idol has grown quite the afro. Check it out.

Kelly said...

Sorry, though that is a very nice head of hair, he ain't blond (at least in that picture).

Anonymous said...

I love Jake with a blonde fro. Maybe I'll get a blonde fro so I can stop being improperly profiled.